Fill an empty heart
by bonesmad
Summary: she'd never thought she'd stand silent as he spoke his last words. What does she do now that her world has fallen apart. All she has left is an empty heart, and not even a chipped cup.
1. Chapter 1

_my feelings after the winter finale are indescribable. .. but this came out of it!_

_My firsrt multichap fic in a while!_

_I own nothing_

_Grace_

She couldn't tell you who'd picked her up, if anyone. She couldn't even tell you who had been there in the first place.

But she could tell you every little detail about him in his last few minutes. The new strength she saw shining out of his eyes, the harrowing sadness that had taken over his body and the release she saw ripple over his face as he twisted the dagger.

"I love you Belle. You made me stronger." Her heart ripped in two as he said this, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips while she stood there motionless. She could feel every cell in her body fighting the dark magic holding her frozen, unable to run to him and show him just how much she loved him, how he was the one who had made her so much stronger.

And now he was gone, vanished before her eyes as her soul tried to leave her to follow him.

She had never felt so broken as she did the seconds after he disappeared, all the strength she'd ever had left her in and both her body and soul crumbled.

"Rumple… he's gone." How he words formulated she'd never know. The tears physically stung her as they fell each one a painful realisation of what had just happened. She fell forward onto all fours her stomach folding on top of itself, in the back of her mind she could faintly remember the feel of cold metal against her arm as someone tried to steady her. Reaching out she grasped the small object in her hand hiding it from eveeyone. Desperate for something to cling to.

The next thing she knew she was standing at the town line being held up by someone who smelt vaguely familiar. She could almost remember a yellow car, there was others crying, hugs being exchanged, but her head was so light that it all ran thorough her.

He was gone, he'd finally broken through the man everyone thought he was, the devious, dangerous, evil coward. He'd finally set that aside and shown who he truly was. The brave, loyal emotional man she knew and she loved so dearly. For years she had dreamed of adventure and excitement. She had never known that the love you can have for someone could be more excitement and adventure than anyone heart could fully deal with. And now it was gone. He was gone.

The dizziness she was feeling only intensified as the smog filled in the darkness around her. She breathed it in, opening her mouth as wide as she could, praying silently that she could take in enough to suffocate her. Let her drift off and join him.

The tears welled up again when she realised it hadn't worked. She was still breathing, blinking and hurting. Only now it was in a ball gown in the middle of a field. Looking up and shaking her head slowly she looked around. Everyone was there, absolutely everyone from Storybrooke, bar three. The yellow bug had taken them away, she guessed. No, no. Her head shake sped up fractionally. It had taken two of them away. The boy, Henry and Emma. The third… pulling her cloak tightly around her she turned and frantically tried to figure out where they were. There was only one place in this world she wanted to be.

"Belle…" she heard faintly as she started walking. "BELLE!" two arms grabbed her and she had no choice but to stop. "Where are you going?" she came face to face with the first person she'd seen in focus in quite a while. Baelfire. She just shook her head and tried to pull away. "Where are you trying to go? We need to discuss what we're going to do next."

"Let me go Bae!" she snapped, the first words she'd managed to form since that moment on the street. Her breathing quickened and her face grew flushed.

"Where are you going?" he said gripping her a little tighter. She found the pain in her chest intensify as she recognised those eyes, a different colour but the same shape. It got even worse when she saw her own pain reflected so clearly in his eyes.

"To my home, to the dark castle. Please…" she pleaded, not holding anything back.

"It… its in ruins Belle its not…"

"I don't care, I just need to be there. I've lost everything…"he dropped her arms and wiped the tears from her face.

"Belle I really don't think we should be splitting up just now, there are so many new evils in the enchanted forest. Your father is around here…" Snow White stepped forward.

"My father?" she half laughed. "I have lost everything that meant anything in my life. And the worst part is. He did exactly what I wanted all along. He did the right thing. Its my fault he's gone"

##### end of part one #####


	2. Chapter 2

The castle had been in disarray, just as Baelfire had warned her. But it didn't matter. She had let herself in, dropped her cloak in the hall, willing the cold to enter her bones and make her feel something, and made her way up the steps to the room she'd spent so many months in. The building was in total darkness, but it didn't matter. She could have walked through the place blindfolded and still know exactly where she was. Cleaning every inch of a place for so long gave you this indept knowledge. She'd pushed open the door and stepped inside her room. It would always be her room. She had felt a lump grow in her throat as she saw it. The room had looked untouched. Almost thirty-five years since she'd been in here and it looked like she may have never left.

Her bed sat under the now black sky, her books lined the walls. And on the table in a small golden vase sat her rose. The sight of the soft red flower had broken her again. Her legs weakened and gave out as she collided with the floor. The cold washed over her as she sobbed into the stone floor her heart well and truly shattered.

He opened the door and walked in. there was much less life in the place now than the last time he'd been here. There was no fires lit, no faint smell of food from the squatters. They must have left soon after he did. But he knew she'd be here. He may not have gotten to know her properly but from what he had heard from everyone else there was no where else she would be but as close to her father as she could manage.

The great hall was empty, everything still lying on the floor in disarray, all the other rooms off it were empty too. The kitchen looked untouched. An hour later and he could see no sign of her.

He did this every few days when he could get away from the rebuild. Every time was as unfruitful as the last. There was no sign. Maybe he was missing her. Maybe she'd never even come here. After weeks of finding nothing but more dust he was beginning to give up.

"BELLE!" he called out, his voice bouncing back at him off the walls. "AHHH!" Turning he went to leave when he spotted a stairwell he hadn't seen before. It was if it had appeared as he turned. Taking the steps carefully, feeling his way along the walls he finally reached a door at the top. The door handle was stiff but it opened as he turned it. This room was slightly warmer then the others in the castle, and it smelt fresher. He saw her immediately, sitting in the middle of the large room surrounded by books, glowing in the light of one candle. "Belle there you are!" he said rushing forward to her, his hand touching her icy cold shoulder. "You're freezing." She didn't even turn. He looked around to only find burnt out candles and books covering most of the space. "Belle what are you doing, it's been almost two have you been holed up in here all this time." He said walking around to the other side of her table. Her head was almost touching the page, still she didn't look up. "Bel…"

"Bae I'm quite busy I can't really…" she waved a hand at him.

"Belle please, just talk to me for a second. No one has seen you in so long…"

"I'm going to bring him back Bae, I've been looking through all his books and I think I've found away to bring him back. Well almost…"

Baelfire reached out and took her hand only for her too pull back immedieatly.

"You need some proper food. Come with me to Charming and Snows castle. We can talk more about it then."

"No, no I don't think so I should keep reading. How is everyone." She said trying to smile at him, but unable to disguise the faded light in her eyes.

"They're alright. Everyone misses Emma and Henry…and papa" he said slowly. "It's been hard. We've been rebuilding the castle. Since we don't know how long we'll all be here…" he searched her face, desperately trying to figure out what to do, what to say.

"Right." She nodded. He reached over and closed her book.

"Belle we don't know where he is. We haven't a clue. You cannot work yourself to death trying when we don't know anything…"

"I cant give up. He never gave up on me. I lost my memories and he never gave up."

"if… if there's one thing I know about my father is that if he's still alive he will come and find us. It may take him some time but he will." He half smiled.

"I can't wait. I need him now I'm… I…." He watched as she started fidgeting with her hand, only realising what she was playing with when she stopped. The small gold ring with the white circle stood out against her small pale hand. He recognised it immediately.

"You got his ring…"

"It fell on the road when he… when he and his father… no one seemed to notice."  
they sat in silence for a while. Until he could stand it no longer.

"Belle I'm going away for a while, we've heard whispers of another giant who survived in hiding and Tiny seems to think there's a chance he'll have a beanstalk cutting. We're going to go find him and hopefully get a way back to that world. To bring them back here."

"Henry and Emma." She nodded. "Good."

"Hook, Charming and I are leaving in the morning and I… I want to know you'll be safe. Will you please go to stay with Snow White and the others?"

her brow creased, and her head tilted.

"Why?"

"Well I don't know how long we'll be gone and there is still so many dangers…"

"No why do you want me safe."

"Well…" he shuffled awkwardly. "You're the only family I have left."

She took a second to take his expression, his face was soft and caring. He truly meant it. She may have lost her true love. But he had also lost his father. But then her eyes caught her books. She shook her head quickly.

"Thank you. But I can't. I know everything I need to find him is here. I have to stay here."


	3. Chapter 3

"Belle would this…" Red said pointing to the page she was reading. But the brown haired beauty didn't look up. When Baelfire had come back to the castle the last time. When he found her, Red had been delighted. She had been beyond worried about her dear friend, everything had happened so quickly that she hadn't even seen her and when she heard about what happened to Mr Gold her heart had broken for the other woman. Their relationship may not have been orthodox but Red knew true love when she saw it and knew how deep it could run. She'd been frantically searching for her in the field when they materialised, but she had run off so quickly. Now she spent every spare moment she could in this dark castle trying to talk her out of the black hole she'd fallen into. "Belle please come with me. We can bring the books." Her pleas falling on deaf ears.

## ## ## ## ##

"Belle it would mean the world to me if you could come…" Ariel sat on the edge of the bed looking over at her friend.

"I don't think so I'm very busy. I am sorry." She smiled. "Besides I don't think I would be the best company at a wedding."

"Oh yes. Sorry…" silence fell over them.

## ## ## ## ## ##

She turned the page only to find a blank one. The end of another book. She couldn't even guess how many she'd gone through now. Only one in every ten gave her anything worth her time. Tales of other men who had vanquished their greatest foe and been transported back with them, or out of harms way. References to the dark ones that had come before and the powers of the dagger. Vague frustrating references.

She slammed it shut and leaned back against the wall. It had been weeks now and as hard as she tried to fool herself, she wasn't coming up with anything. She had spent months searching through dusty books with false hope.

"Belle…" a soft voice came from the door. "Oh Belle" she turned just in time to see Snow White rushing towards her and wrapping her arms around her. The tears were flowing full stream down her face, and now onto the princess's jacket. "Hush, hush" said princess soothed while stroking her hair. "it's alright."

"I cannot find a thing Snow. I cannot bring him back." She said after a few minutes of quiet.

"You've tried everything you need to let us help you." She said pulling back and looking down at the wet, empty blue eyes. Taking Belles face in her hands she sighed. "you look half starved lets go to the kitchen and get you something to eat." Belle nodded slowly and stood up. "Oh my, Belle are you…" the grieving woman's head snapped up.

"Can we just eat. You're right I should take a break"

## ## ## ## ## ## ##

it had taken her an age to convince Mary Margaret to leave. She couldn't really tell but she was sure the stew had done her good. There was only so long one should live on the bread and jam that seemed to appear in the cupboard every time she went to them. she froze half way to the door leading to her room. This was the only path she had take since she came here. To and from her room and the kitchens. But today she turned and walked into the great hall, wrapping her arms around herself. The sight of this once beautiful room in disorder saddened her greatly. Slowly she picked up the chairs around the long table, and righted the podiums. It would take a lot of work but she could right her home again. A thought struck her and she moved from the room to a completely different wing.

The door creaked open and she could smell the dust rising as her skirts moved the air. This room was the complete opposite to her own. It was so obvious that no one had stepped foot in here over the decades. She blinked quickly trying to get her eyes to adjust. It was mostly empty, always had been as long as she'd known the place. She'd never had to clean in here but she didn't know that during her first week. She'd strayed in here unaware, and he'd told her to never go in there again. There was a small wardrobe, containing only a few items of clothes belonging to a small boy, and in the other corner, the only other piece of furniture. The timber cot looked so tiny to her. He'd never explained what it was doing there. Now she guessed it was Bae's, but as she stood there looking at it something awoken inside her an she realised she had to wake up again. She wasn't completely alone she thought as a small kick came from her now well rounded stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

_He pushed the front door open and walked in, months had passed and they were finally back. Months tracking a giant that had been only a myth, and trekking across the enchanted forest had taken their toll on him, and he was back not feeling almost as downtrodden as when he'd left. It had killed him to let Hook go through the portal. There had barely been enough magic to open it as it was, never mind to give him time to think about it. Hook had to be the one to try and get her really. Emma and he didn't have the clearest of relationships when all this happened, he stood must less of a chance of getting her to remember than Hook did, loath as he was to admit it. They needed to put their best foot forward and get the saviour back here. People had started losing the memories they had of Storybrooke. Snow White and Regina especially. He seemed to be escaping it, most likely because he would have ended up in that world with or without the curse. Hook had been the same, as he never got taken with the curse either. Charming had seemed to escape it too for a while, right up until they found the giant. Then his memory deteriorated more quickly than they'd seen before. He'd just dropped him off at their castle, had a long conversation with Snow, filling in a few more pages of the book she was keeping to remind them of what she was beginning to forget. Now he was back here, praying he could make some progress where the others seemed to have failed. _

_The castle was completely different to the last time he'd set foot here. The entrance hall was warm, and there was a fresh smell. He dropped his bag inside the door and ventured in further. The great hall seemed to be supplying the heat to the rest of the building so he headed straight there. _

_"Belle!" he grinned as he walked in the door. The room was lit up and the chill immediately left him. She turned from the table and looked up at him, he saw the look of confusion pass over her face for a split second, trying to remember who he was. He was getting way too used to that look. It passed quickly as she remembered and smiled at him. _

_"Bae! You're back!" she dropped the dress she'd been sewing onto the table top and standing up hugged him to her._

_"You're down here. You're…"_

_"I woke up." She beamed at him. "It took me a while…" he rubbed her arm._

_"I still miss him too."_

_"He wouldn't want… it was time to wake up. He sacrificed himself for our lives. We have to live them." taking a few seconds of silence he moved around to the side of the table. _

_"The place looks great." He said weakly. _

_"Thank you. I never thought I'd be cleaning this castle again." She gestured for him to sit. "Although every now and again I forget that I ever left." She frowned. _

_"We're going to fix that! We found a giant! Hoo… Killian has gone back to earth, to try and find Emma!"_

_"You found a way! I haven't heard too much lately. They visit less and less." _

_"We're only just back. Everyone's memories are fading. Quickly. Although yours doesn't seem too affected" His eyes widened thinking of everyone at the Charming's castle._

_"I hope he can find her and bring her back." _

_"Belle I wante…" he was cut off by a shrill cry which made him almost jump out of his skin. Still on attack mode he sprang from his chair and pulled out his sword. _

_"Hey it's ok! Sit down. There's someone you need to meet." Belle smiled and made her way around the long table. He frowned slowly put his sword back in the sheath. As his eyes followed her he noticed the object sitting in the corner. It was shockingly familiar, he'd never thought he'd see it again. It had sat in the corner of their hut for years. His father had always refused to get rid of it. His crib._

_"Belle what is that. Why is it…" Belle leaned down and picked up a small white bundle. He frowned and pushing his chair in followed her over to the other side of the room. _

_"Baelfire I would like you to meet your sister. Rose." She said smiling up at him. His jaw dropped and he lost all words. His eyes jumped from the small child in her arms up to her smiling face. He didn't know what to think but before he knew it a smile broke out right across his own face. _

_"My… my sister." He let out a low laugh. Belle just nodded. "Rose." He reached over and took her into his own arms, moving back the blanket slightly to see her face properly, two shining blue eyes staring up at him. "hello Rose. She's beautiful Belle." _

_"She's an angel. My little golden angel." _

_"You did this all by yourself. Why didn't you go to the others."_

_"This is her home."_

_"Did… does Papa know?" she shook her head. _

_"No he couldn't have."_

_"Well that's ok." He nodded and grinned as the baby grabbed his finger. "We'll tell her all about him so she knows him when he returns." She moved next to him and rested a hand gently on her head. _

_"I'm glad you're back Bae."_

_### ### ### ### ### ### ### _

_"Belle there's something I haven't told you." Baelfire said putting down his fork. They'd spent the evening with him filling her in on their journey to find the giant, and her telling him what little she'd found in her books. She frowned and placed her drink down to lean forward. _

_"what…"_

_"It's Rumplestiltskin he… he's been seen." Her entire demeanour changed, something passed over her face that he couldn't place. _

_"He's been seen. Here?"_

_"by a woman near where our old village used to be. We made camp there one night and she offered us shelter. We got to talking and she said we weren't the first strangers to arrive a middle aged man was found in a field a few months back. Very unwell, barely alive. They brought him back to their house and nursed him back to health. He didn't speak much and was very weak but he said his name was Gold. That's all they found out, when they went down one morning he was gone. Vanished."_

_"That has to be him. It has to!" she said joy creeping across her face._

_"That's what we thought too." He nodded. _

_"So he is alive!"_

_"I don't want you to raise your hopes too much Belle there may still be a chance.."_

_"No I knew it! He's making his way here. He's back." _


	5. Chapter 5

"Belle get up!" she jolted awake completely unaware of where she was. "BELLE! NOW!" Baelfire shook her quickly bringing her to full awareness.

"what's going on what's wrong!" she said throwing off the covers and grabbing her robe.

"The Wicked Witch of the West has hit the enchanted forest. The blue fairy was just here to warn us. We need to get to Charming's castle we'll be safe there." He said grabbing the things off her desk and packed them into her case less than gracefully.

"Rose!" she yelled and half jumped over him to the adjoining room.

"You get her things together and ill grab some of your clothes, I already have some things in the carriage we need to go immediately!" she stumbled into the nursery waking the small child up. She hurried around the room grabbing anything she could lay her hands on throwing them into the large chest. Over the months Baelfire had made leagues of furniture for the small room, creating a home for his half sister. She glanced sadly at the wall hangings and carved rocking chair that could never come with them. why was this happening again. She dragged the chest to the door just as Bae came to get it.

"Get Rose and get down to the carriage quickly there isn't much time."

The baby was yelling her lungs out tiny fists curled up into little balls.

"Oh my darling come on we have to go" she said lifting her softly and holding her to her chest. Making one last run into her own room she grabbed the rose and vase that she slept beside and made her way down the steps as quickly as she could manage.

"Shh sweetheart please, it's all ok." She rocked her precious bundle taking another look out the window. Baelfire was strapping the last of the cases to the back.

"Oh my god…" she heard him say and standing up she looked out the back window, a cloud of green smoke coming over the mountains faster than she had thought possible. Rose's screams became louder, like there was something hurting her, her mother couldn't hear.

"Can we outride it?" she asked but he just nodded and ran to the front, she pulled the door closed and sat, clutching her daughter. "Please Rumple. Come back now." She pleaded. "please…"

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The journey was rough and rocky, but she was so busy trying to sooth Rose she barely noticed. It had taken an age to sooth the normally serene child.

"It's me! Baelfire." She heard him call out, and it was only then she realised they were at the castle gates.

"Angel we're safe now. We're safe now!" she smiled at the now sleeping child. The door opened and Bae's hand came in to help her out.

"We got here!" he smiled. "Rosie ok?" he looked down.

"You got here! Finally" Charming was standing outside the front door as she stepped out.

"Belle oh thank god!" Red said rushing towards her, "Come in come in." she ushered them in to the entrance hall with Bae and Charming left un-strapping the bags.

"How are they going to keep this castle safe?" Belle asked as Snow and Granny came down to greet her.

"The fairies are going to cast a protection spell now that you're here." Snow said

"You two were the last." Granny added as Baelfire walked in.

"You three." Snow grinned looking down at the bundle tucked under Belle's cloak. "This must be Rose."

"It is indeed." She nodded, her mind beginning to clear now that she knew they were in fact safe. Unfastening her cloak she moved the blanket back.

"She's so precious." Granny rubbed Belle's arm affectionately.

"This is Rose-Red Gold." She said looking up at her friend. "I'm sorry you haven't met before. hopefully you'll all remember her. If your memories are like mine it might be difficult" she smiled.

"Ro… Rose-Red?" Red asked, a hand going to her chest. Belle smiled.

"Well of course! I wanted to make sure her Godmother knew how much she meant to me. And how grateful to her I was for her efforts over the past year." Ruby's eyes filled with tears as she rushed to hug her best friend.

"Hey don't squash my sister!" Baelfire said scooping the baby up out of its mothers arms.

"Oh my yes your sister!" Snow laughed. "I forgot that."

"We have your rooms ready if you want to put her down for a proper sleep! It's a bit of a squeeze with everyone living here and the castle not completely repaired so Bae you'll have to share with Artie! And Red is in with you Belle." Charming said.

"Ella has set up a little playroom for Alexandra, I know Rose is a bit too young yet but there's some toys there."

"Great." She nodded.

"Come on I'll show you."

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She hummed lightly as Rose's eyes slowly closed again. It was mid morning but they had travelled through the night and lack of sleep was catching up with her too.

"You should get some rest." Red said from her perch on the edge of her bed.

"How do we know we're safe." She said looking over at her. "How can I sleep knowing there's a new threat coming for my baby?"

"Her personal body guard is a wolf. She'll be fine." Red smiled, it had been so long since she'd seen her best friend look so normal, she just wished it was under different circumstances. "You get some sleep and I'll stand guard."

"Thank you Red."

"You know they had to remind me who you are." She said sadly. We never met here before. I can't believe I forgot you."

"Hey I forget things too!" she said. Sometimes I sit and wonder how I ever got out of Regina's dungeon. She reached down and took her hands. "But we will find a way to fix this. Rumple is coming back and he will help us fix this."

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